Psychology · All levels
Spot the signs of an abusive partner and protect yourself
A self-paced video course that explains how abuse in a couple really works, and gives you exercises and a personal protection plan.
- 11 video lectures
- 7 exercise videos
- 8 self-help exercises
- Self-paced, 5–12 weeks
- 14-day refund policy
Why good relationships can turn into a trap
Do you find yourself dreading the moment your partner comes home? Do you feel lonely even when he or she is in the same room, and struggle to work out what is actually going on? Many people live like this for years without having a name for it.
Most of us picture an abuser as a rude, aggressive person who shouts at everyone. In reality an abuser is often charming, good company and generous. At the start of a relationship such a person can seem the most attentive and caring partner you have ever had, which is exactly why the pattern is so hard to see.
It is also a myth that only insecure people end up in these relationships. Confident, self-sufficient people are caught too, because they have never met the tactics being used on them. Control is presented as care, and pressure as love, so the first thing you notice is only that you feel stifled, tired and less sure of yourself.
This course gathers the important material in one place. It explains who abusers are, what they want, what they do, who becomes the target and what keeps people in the relationship. It is presented in a calm, story-based and supportive way, with exercises that help you rebuild your sense of self-worth.
What you will be able to do
- Recognise abusive behaviour early
Notice the warning signs in the first weeks of getting to know someone.
- Tell abuse from ordinary conflict
Understand the difference between a hard relationship and a controlling one.
- Distinguish love from control
See when attention, generosity and care are being used as tools of influence.
- Identify hidden manipulation
Spot the tricks, subtexts and pressure mechanisms a partner may use.
- Understand a partner's real aims
See what the controlling person is trying to achieve and why.
- Recognise a victim's position
Tell a self-sacrificing role apart from simple kindness, in yourself and others.
- Use 8 self-help exercises
Rebuild your inner resources and steady your emotional state at your own pace.
- Write your own protection plan
Decide how to recognise, respond and, if you choose, leave safely.
- Support a relative safely
Learn why a loved one may refuse help and how to offer it without putting them at risk.
- 11
- video lectures
- 7
- exercise videos
- 8
- self-help exercises
- 16
- academic hours of video
A calm view from the outside
Reading about hard relationships can bring back heavy feelings. For that reason the course does not throw you straight into theory. It works through an example taken from a film and examines the abusive influence piece by piece, so that you look at it as if from the side.
Seeing the pattern from a distance is often the first moment people feel some relief. What felt like personal failure starts to look like a recognisable mechanism with a beginning, a middle and a logic. Once you can see the mechanism, you stop blaming yourself for not having noticed it sooner.
The presentation is informative and supportive rather than academic. The course is not a lesson in theory for its own sake. It is a guided walk through the subject, with room to pause, think and do the exercises when you have the energy.
How the course works
The course is made of recorded video. Each lecture lasts around 60 minutes, give or take five. The videos that explain the practical exercises are shorter, from 7 to 17 minutes. Altogether this comes to roughly 16 academic hours of material.
A new lesson opens every third day, and you get three days to do each self-help exercise. Depending on how quickly you move, the whole programme takes between 5 and 12 weeks. You study whenever suits you, at any time of day, and you can take as long as you need within that rhythm.
There are two ways to take the course. The informational option is fully self-paced: you watch the lectures and complete the exercises on your own, without feedback from a tutor. Every exercise is designed to be done independently. The practical option adds homework, feedback from a tutor and the chance to ask for help with exercises between lessons.
You first see the introductory lesson and the list of topics, and can then decide whether the full course is right for you. Access to the course lasts 100 days from the moment of purchase, which is normally enough time to work through the material and the exercises.
The programme
Eleven video lectures and seven exercise videos, arranged in five steps from understanding to a practical plan.
1Module 1 — Seeing abuse clearlyWhat abuse is, who the abuser really is and who becomes a target.4 lessons
- What abuse is and how it differs from conflict
- Why the abuser is rarely who you expect
- Who ends up in abusive relationships, and why self-sufficient people are not immune
- Exercise video 1: Taking stock of how you feel
2Module 2 — The abusive cycleA film example, examined step by step, shows the basic pattern.4 lessons
- Reading a film scene piece by piece
- The cycle as the basic pattern of abusive influence
- The sweet early phase: how admiration builds trust
- Exercise video 2: Restoring a sense of self-worth
3Module 3 — Forms of pressure and hidden goalsThe mechanisms, tricks and real aims behind the control.4 lessons
- Hidden mechanisms, tricks and subtexts
- What the controlling partner is really after
- Telling love and care from control
- Exercise video 3: Naming your strengths
4Module 4 — Why people stayWhat holds a person in the relationship and how to see it from outside.3 lessons
- What drives the roles and keeps people in the relationship
- Exercise video 4: Rebuilding inner supports
- Exercise video 5: Gathering strength before deciding
5Module 5 — Your protection planRecognising, responding, leaving safely and helping those close to you.3 lessons
- Protecting yourself and helping a loved one safely
- Exercise video 6: Recovering after the relationship
- Exercise video 7: Writing your personal protection plan
What you get
- 11 video lectures
Clear, structured explanations of how abuse in a couple works.
- 7 exercise videos
Short guides that walk you through each practical task.
- 8 self-help exercises
Practices for restoring your resources and calming your state.
- A personal protection plan
A written plan you build yourself as you go through the course.
- A film-based case study
A worked example that makes the abusive cycle easy to follow.
- Advice for relatives
Guidance on how to help someone close to you safely.
- Study at your own pace
New lessons open every third day, so the course never overwhelms you.
- 100 days of access
Enough time to go through the material and the exercises.
Is this course for you?
This course is for you if…
- You are in a difficult relationship and cannot tell whether your partner or the circumstances are putting pressure on you.
- You feel pushed around in your relationship and find it hard to stand up for yourself.
- You have never heard much about abusive relationships and want to know the warning signs before they affect you.
- You have left an abusive relationship and want to avoid repeating the pattern.
- You support family or friends who may be in such a relationship, or you work with families and children.
Probably not a fit if…
- You are looking for personal therapy or one-to-one consultations; this is a recorded course, not a substitute for professional help.
- You want a quick fix or a guaranteed result without doing any reflection or exercises.
- You are in immediate danger and need urgent help; in that case contact your local emergency services.
After the course
By the end you will understand how abusive people behave, what they aim for and how the cycle of influence develops. You will be able to notice the early signs in a new acquaintance and tell real generosity from calculated charm.
If you are planning a relationship, that knowledge protects you from stepping into a bad one. If you are already inside one, you will be better able to judge whether it is truly abuse or another kind of family difficulty, and the exercises give you a way to regain strength before you decide what to do.
If you have already left, the practices help you restore your self-worth, your self-esteem and your inner supports. And if you are worried about someone close to you, you will understand why they may not hear you, and how to help in a way that is safe for them.
You will also leave with your own written protection plan, built with the exercises and the material, so that you know what you would do and in what order.
Questions before you buy
How much time do I need each week?
A new lesson opens every third day. Each lecture lasts about an hour and the exercise videos are 7 to 17 minutes, plus three days to do each exercise. Expect a few hours per week. The programme takes 5 to 12 weeks depending on your pace.
Do I need any background knowledge?
No. The course starts from the basics and needs no previous study of psychology. It is written for people who are meeting the topic for the first time as well as for those with personal experience.
How does access work after payment?
After you pay you receive access to the course online and can start straight away. New lessons open every third day. Access lasts 100 days from the date of purchase.
What is your refund policy?
If the course is not right for you, you can request a refund within 14 days of purchase.
What format are the lessons in?
The course consists of recorded video lectures of around 60 minutes, shorter exercise videos and self-help exercises you complete in your own time. You can watch whenever suits you.
Will the material stay available?
You can use all the lessons for 100 days from purchase, which is normally enough to watch the lectures and do the exercises. Plan your study time with that period in mind.
Is there feedback from a tutor?
The basic option is fully self-paced, with no feedback. The practical option adds homework, feedback and help with the exercises between lessons.
Is this a replacement for therapy?
No. The course explains the subject and offers self-help exercises, but it is not a replacement for professional help. If you are in danger, contact your local emergency services.
Start understanding what is really going on
Watch at your own pace, do the exercises and finish with a plan of your own.